Melanblog
Melanchuks Chuck Melons
When Kathryn was quite young, she named her pacifier a “nap.” This seemed quite appropriate to us, especially when she was a little older and only used her “nap” for naps. Occasionally, the dad would put Kathryn down for a nap without a nap, but immediately upon closing the door Kathryn would exclaim– NAP! I need a nap! And the nap would soon be helping her nap. But, like clockwork, as soon as Kathryn finished her nap, she would come out of the room and immediately hand her nap to one of her parents.
Well, as still somewhat naive parents, they started having nightmares of Kathryn going off to college and still needing a nap. Pictures of Sunday afternoons with Kathryn curled up on the couch taking a nap with a nap. What would her roommates say? So, as wise parents who wanted to spare her the potential humiliation of future teasing, and avoid the awkward calls from her college Bishop, they decided it was time to get rid of the “nap.”
For those of you who know Kathryn, you are well acquainted with her sense of “right.” In the right way, in the right order, at the right time. Often on the weekend, you can find Kathryn’s Dad taking advantage of this innate morale compass by getting Kathryn to do things the “wrong” way. He might be reading a book and skip a page. He might put Kathryn’s pants on backwards. He might call breakfast, bweckfwest. He might sit in Mommy’s chair for bweckfwest while wearing his pants on backwards. He might try and get Mommy to say the family prayer when it’s his turn. He might even “warp” to world 4-1 in Super Mario Bros without finishing World 1-2 (this one unfortunately caused a LOT of tears last night). Such things are clearly unacceptable to Kathryn who will quickly correct such actions or burst out in tears.
This father, recognizing an opportunity to further exploit this trait for perhaps some nap behavior shaping, casually mentioned one night that big girls don’t use naps. Mommy picked up on this cue and repeated the same thing. Well, that night when Kathryn was ready for bed, Mommy tried to give her the nap, and Kathryn flatly refused. Big girls do NOT use naps. Wouldn’t take it. Said good night and asked for the door to be closed.
They looked at each other, smiled, gave a quick high-five and talked about what brilliant parents they were.
The next day, they began to realize the extent of this change. Joyfully since that innocent suggestion was put in their little girl’s head, she has never used a nap. But, very unfortunately as a consequence of not “taking” a nap–she has never since taken a nap! Gone is the pesky habit and calm are the minds of the parents thinking of her future. Also, gone is the 2-hour respite from a 2-year old’s very active lifestyle. And, as a result of less sleep, the 2 year old is often very cranky by mid afternoon and through the evening.
After a couple weeks of no naps, the parents desperately tried to reintroduce Kathryn’s nap. To regain that beautiful 2 hours of sanity each day. She refused. Even cried when she saw it, exclaiming big girls don’t use naps!
So, instead of a nap, Kathryn now gets an hour of “quiet time” where she can go to her room and read books, or play. Of course, this usually results in her coming out every few minutes to see if quiet time is over, or to go on the potty (which is quite humorous since at other times during the day they carry her kicking and screaming to the potty), get a drink of water, or any other sneaky excuse she can think of to get out of quiet time. But. she’s starting to get the hang of this and may go 30 minutes of staying in her room.
One day, she had a special quiet time! Last Saturday, a couple of the ILP girls came over and Kathryn convinced the girls to have quiet time with her. They sat and played quietly and read books. Kathryn gave them all books to read. During part of this time, Kathryn read THEM a book. They captured the moment on video. Take a look at Kathryn reading the Grover Book.
Now, Amelia has never taken a pacifier, but instead has adopted Mommy’s silky pajamas as her “comfort object.” The parents both agree even a big girl can have silk pajamas for as long as she likes…
We celebrated Victory Day here on May 9th. If I have my facts correct, Victory Day commemorates the victory of World War II. It is interesting to me, because I always first think of WWII from the perspective of the United States, against Hitler and Japan. But it was truly a world war, and millions of Russian lives were lost fighting Germany. In Russia, this is a huge holiday. In Ukraine it is a little more interesting, as someone pointed out to us. Many Ukrainians were fighting with the Russians (against Germany), but many others were siding with the Germans, against Russia.
It was still a holiday, though, and Darryl only worked part of the day. Kathryn, Amelia, and I took the metro downtown to meet him in the late afternoon and to enjoy the holiday atmosphere. There were tons of people outside in Independence Square, and along one of the main streets, Khreshatik. It was closed to traffic, so after a visit to Darryl’s office we strolled down the street on our way to T.G.I.Fridays for dinner. Yes! They have a T.G.I.Friday’s here! I had never been, so it was really great for me.
Kathryn was really looking forward to seeing Daddy’s work. What could he possibly do all day long, she probably wonders.
There were lots of things going on outside. We stopped to listen to some music, and Darryl took a picture of these two Ukrainian girls. No sitting on the ground, just squatting. Amelia liked this little dog toy, which several vendors had along the street. This last picture is the crowd she drew. No joke, there was no one around until Amelia started playing with the puppy, then all of a sudden a crowd was watching and I saw a couple people even taking a picture of her!
After dinner we walked back to the metro, and Kathryn had fun looking at a fountain. We even got our first ice cream cones.
Amelia turned one year old on May 16th! We had a little party that evening, which Kathryn helped me plan. We invited Katya and 3 of the ILP teachers that have been here to babysit the girls several times. First, Kathryn helped me make the cake/cupcakes.
Amelia was able to open part of the first present before Kathryn helped.
We all wore “princess headbands”. Amelia got a baby and a stroller.
Katya made Amelia a beautiful card and gave her some traditional slippers. Katya also told us of a tradition that Ukrainians do for a child’s first birthday. You put several items on the floor and let the child choose one. That item represents what he or she will tend toward when they are older. We put a dress, doll, ball, pen, book, money, and keys. If its the pen, they will be a writer, etc. Amelia looked around a bit and then chose the doll!
We ate some homemade pizza and then had cake and ice cream before it was Amelia’s bedtime.
Last week when there were some holidays, two senior missionary couples invited us to go to the Botanical Garden with them. Elder Lackey bought the girls each a pinwheel, and they are now Kathryn’s favorite toys (besides the computer, of course). I’ve seen her sleeping with them in her arms.
We had a great time, except for me chasing Amelia around on the asphalt. She was trying to run down steep hills, which really scared me. She did end up falling once, and also fell in some mud (luckily on our way out). Darryl also joined Elder Lackey dressing up in some costumes they had for pictures.
The above pictures are of the magnolias. We kept hearing about them, and they were indeed beautiful. One thing we have noticed in Ukraine is that people always do a model pose when they get their picture taken. Darryl tried to capture this woman doing that in front of the magnolias.
A couple of things are bugging me, so I thought maybe I could get over them if I write them down.
First of all, the heat was turned off on April 15th. Since then there have been many nice days, but also some cold days, and cold nights. Poor Amelia has been cold all winter (we think) in her room and this was worse. We finally bought a heater for her room. It is nice to have free heat, but I do wish we could choose when and how much heat we had. We do have some sort of heaters in our place (which we used only a couple times during the winter because the other heat was so warm), but they are built into the family room and our bedroom. The heaters were also a nice place to dry clothes quickly (opposed to on the balcony which takes 1-2 days). That’s really not a big deal anymore. I’m just grateful to have a washing machine.
The grocery store where I shop suddenly doesn’t have our milk. It is driving me crazy. It comes in 1 liter boxes, so I buy several a week, and I have been trying to build up a storage since you can store them outside the fridge before opening them. But then I go and there is no milk (of that kind, which is .5%). So I go a couple days later, no milk. A couple more days and there are like 2 boxes. I have resulted to buying 2.5%, which sounds so gross to me, but Kathryn and Darryl both like it. However, on Monday there were only 2 boxes of 2.5%. What is with the stocking of these stores? I also have an issue with the grocery carts, but since I’ve been shopping with the girls lately (in the stroller), I haven’t needed a cart. They are rarely available for customer use, but I see them everywhere in the store full of bread, or other products. Not only are they taking a valuable cart out of circulation, they are making it much harder to maneuver my large stroller around the store.
I miss grass. I know we didn’t have a yard in Seattle, but we did have Carkeek Park (and lots of other parks). You see grass here, but it is where dogs and small children do their business, so it is not really where I want to be having a picnic with my girls. Except at the botanical garden, which we went to last week. It was beautiful and I will be posting about it soon.
Okay, that’s it for now. When I think about it, I feel really silly that these things bother me. I don’t like when people feel entitled to things, and that is kind of what I am doing. So I’ll just try to appreciate these things more when I go home.
I often “pinch” myself while walking home from work as I look around at the Ukrainian buildings and check to see if this is a dream. Of course it’s not all fun and games, but it’s neat to walk through the beautiful architecture and realize that we’re living in Eastern Europe.
It’s also been interesting to learn and compare the attitudes and values and how they differ from our perspective. I think generally people are much more liberal in thinking, closer to Western European mentality (especially concerning hot topics such as abortion, religion, and war). However, Ukraine is also a little unique because it’s looking closely at its future and trying to lay the foundation for a strong country.
For instance, people here are looking hard at the core values of its youth and are realizing the importance of family, health, religion, and education perhaps more than its Western European counterparts. I’ve had several discussions with the young professionals here in the Kyiv office about the importance of a strong family, fidelity, the need to curb alcohol and cigarrete use and the importance of religion. For example, I think Amanda has mentioned how popular juice is here. This is a result of people becoming aware of the need to be healthy. I find these discussions are much more common than my experience with a similar group of pressionals in the Seattle office. People in Seattle think about these things, but are just not as passionate and proactive in making a change in their country.
Of course, I realize there are problems. Even with this attitude, alcohol, and cigarretes are much much more widely used here in Kyiv than in Seattle. I read the statistics are as high as 75% of men and women currently smoke. Walking to work I often find myself holding my breath to find some clean air since so many people are smoking as they walk. Also, it’s not uncommon to see young and old drinking beer at the bus stations as they wait for their bus. However, I see great changes in the future for Ukraine, simply because these professionals, who will be leading and guiding this country, are quite concerned about their future and admitting that traditional values will in many cases be the key to their country’s successful future. Unlike their European counterparts, the Ukrainians seem to have the ability to look back into their past and examine the current status of the surrounding countries–and recognize the good and bad to help them make better decisions. Although there still is a long way to go and perhaps many social problems to address, this general attitude of change and progression is quite refreshing to me.
Another refreshing perspective is the general attitude of conservation. In Canada and the U.S., I’m again reminded of how much we waste and abuse the natural resources we’ve been given. Perhaps because of the many years of prosperity and cheap resources, we have become lackadaisacal in our social responsibilities and have lost the perspective of conservation that seemed to be so strong just 2 generations ago. I think of my grandparents using every scrap of food and letting nothing go to waste. I think of their attitude of walking to conserve gas for their cars (remember all stories about walking uphill both ways…). I think of the small home where they utilized all the space in a very efficient manner. And only 2 generations later (and I’m totally guilty of this, too), our society has come to expect enormous homes (in comparison) and where we ignorantly waste food, water, electricity, etc.
Here in Ukraine, I’ve noticed a very different attitude. Somehow this “old” attitude of conservation has not only been maintained in society, but pervades even the simplest of products and ways of life. Here are some things I’ve noticed:
Toilet–The toilet always has 2 options for flushing. Half or full flush. If our bodies have a “Number 1″ and “Number 2″ why not our toilets? Most of the time, you just use the half flush, which uses much less water. I think this is so simple, yet makes so much sense and really helps conserves water.
Cars–In an attempt to save fuel, people refuse to turn on the air conditioner in the summer or the heater in the winter. Most of the drivers in our office follow this unofficial policy. Up until recently, this kind of drove me crazy, because I’m either freezing or sweating whenever I’m travelling in our office cars (the office maintains a few cars and drivers to taxi us between client locations and the office). Then recently I was wondering about the price of gas here and it quickly changed my attitude. It’s currently between $1.18-1.36 per litre (which converts to about $4.50-5.18 per gallon)!
Walking–Although at first glance it may not seem this way because of the awful traffic in Kyiv, but people walk everywhere. I’m amazed in the mornings how the streets are absolutely full of people taking public transportation and walking to work. It takes me the same amount of time to get to work as it did in Seattle, but it’s so nice to relax a little between the commute and enjoy the sights.
Paper in the office-It’s common practice to use both sides of the paper here. There’s always a stack of extra paper by the printer ready for use on the second side. This was always recommend in the Seattle office, but very few people actually follow this policy.
Lights in the office–Often I will come into the office or go the client and the lights will be off. Even in the offices where people are working, the lights will stay off until late in the afternoon when it’s totally dark.
Escalators–At most metro stations, there are huge escalators that take you to and from the train platform. Usually there are 4 (2 for each direction). However, at most times during the day, only 2 are in operation (1 each way). The other 2 stay off until the lines reach a critical length. Then they are switched on briefly. If I were to ask why they just don’t have all 4 running in anticipation of the crowds, I would suspect it is to try and lengthen the life of the machinery. Now, this makes perfect sense to me, but is still a little frustrating when it takes several minutes just to get on and there are 2 escalators idle. 
Space–The little inventions built into the apartments to save space always amaze me. I just think they are so inovative. For example, the cupboard above the sink doubles as a dish drying rack. In addition, in the bathroom, there’s a towel rack that is also a heat radiator.
I think this conservative perspective comes in part from the Soviet Union where resources were limited and people had to ration everything they had. I also think it’s much more of a European mentality where things are generally more expensive such as electricity, water and especially gas for your car.
I really like the shift in attitude and I hope I can remember these things when we return home again.
The Easter Bunny came on Saturday morning. He left a little treasure hunt for Kathryn and Amelia, and another one for Darryl to find their Easter baskets. He even left one for me, which he always does! Besides candy, Kathryn got this puzzle. Amelia got a ball from the Easter Bunny.
Here we are before church on Sunday. Kathryn was excited all week to wear her pink dress to church. We tried to get one of just the girls, but Amelia was running everywhere.
We had a delicious Easter dinner, and an “Easter cake”. They started appearing everywhere a couple days before Easter, so we decided to buy one, too. Most people also bake them. I heard that a small one takes 6 eggs, and people usually make several, so that is one reason they were buying so many eggs.
Everything was closed Sunday, and most things were closed Monday. Darryl had Monday, Thursday, and Friday off work. Many people had the whole week off work. Although, I think the Thursday and Friday off work were for May Day and International Labor Day. Our friend Katya’s school semester ended the week before Easter.
We kept meaning to dye eggs with Kathryn, but kept not having time! We finally did on Tuesday after Amelia went to bed. Kathryn thought it was quite cool, and has been asking to do it everyday since. She even ate a hard boiled egg right after we dyed them.
We celebrated Easter last weekend, along with Ukraine and a few other countries. We started by attending a stake musical presentation on Thursday night (and got a babysitter for the girls). We have really wanted to try to be more involved in the stake here, and we were not disappointed. It was wonderful! First, there was a stake choir, which we had just heard at stake conference. Then there were several different musical performances. From primary children singing songs to beautiful opera-like singing with orchestral accompaniment. There was a family that sang a song, with a young boy (I would guess 8 or less) playing the violin like it was the easiest and most natural thing ever. Katya had told me that a member of her ward played the bassoon in the National Orchestra here. So he played Eine Kleine along with 2 violinists and a violist. They also accompanied the amazing singer. It was a wonderful evening.
On Saturday morning I went to help clean the church building (yes, we do that here, too!) while Darryl stayed with the girls. Near the church is a big market, and I decided to stroll through before going home (since I was by myself and could go at my own pace). There were lots of extra kiosks/stalls set up for Easter. The whole sidewalk area was crowded with people and venders. Everyone was buying green onions and radishes, so I did, too. Okay, I was planning to buy them anyway because I wanted to have a salad on Easter. Lettuce is not abundant here, and I had seen some good lettuce at our market so I really wanted to make a salad. But seriously, every vendor had radishes and onions, and everyone was buying them. That and TONS of eggs. I found egg dye, so I was excited to bring that home, as well. My favorite part of the morning was the holiday excitement in the air. It was so tangible and so fun. A week earlier, I hadn’t really seen any signs of Easter outside. But now everyone was getting ready and everyone was so excited. I love that about holidays in Ukraine. There is not a lot of buildup (commercially), but the excitement is so tangible right before the holiday.
